


What Is Love

by EXOL_Writer



Series: The Eve [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, F/M, High School, Major Original Character(s), POV Original Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2019-03-25
Packaged: 2019-07-23 08:06:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16155002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EXOL_Writer/pseuds/EXOL_Writer
Summary: [Book 2 of The EVE series]Originally known as Oppa's Girl"I thought my love for her was enough to face any obstacles. And then, I dropped coffee on her overdose pullover... You got that right! My girlfriend is an EXO-L."It took Lucas Jacobs almost three years to finally dare confess to Cherry, the one girl who bravely saved him from his school nemesis. But in the midst of discovering what loving someone truly means, he realizes there is more to her than a strong sense of heroism...Available on Aff and Wattpad as well. Monthly updates.





	1. Foreword

**Author's Note:**

> I'm aware it looks like it is not related to Exo but trust me, it is.  
> Please give my story and me a chance.  
> And thank you ^^

> _The man, who stood in front of me that night, was nothing more than a mop of umber curls dangling over fierce black eyes. A lean and well-built figure paired with a rather singular face for these parts of the world. Nothing extraordinary about the plain red hoodie and grey pants he was wearing and yet, he looked as surreal as I had always known him... That's all he ever was, after all; a myth brought to life; a curse lurking in the shadows._
> 
> _I didn't realize I had been holding my breath until he shifted, long legs stretching forward._
> 
> _"Why are you here?" I asked, the disbelief so clear in my voice that I winced. I did not know what to expect, what to believe. But no matter how hard I pinched my arm, neither would he fade away nor would I wake up._
> 
> _Slowly, he pulled his eyes away from the withered Balsamine that stood between his shoes. The radiance of the full moon caressed the side of his face, plump chapped lips demanding attention. They detached for a deep sigh and the air momentarily turned white around his face. The warmth and gentleness I had grown accustomed to were nowhere to be found. Instead, I found anger, guilt, regret, and fear- none of which I believed were destined for a man like him._
> 
> _"The past always catches up, doesn't it?"_
> 
> _It was a rhetorical question, aimed at himself rather than at me. And at that moment, I could tell he had given up to the dark truths of this cruel world... The pain on his face, it made no sense but I wanted to wipe it off._
> 
> _"What do you mean?"_
> 
> _Black pits reached for me, the pair clawing at my feet with the cold glare that shone on the surface. There was undeniably more to the creases at his lips, to the paleness of his knuckles, to the tautness of his shoulders. But he wouldn't tell me, that much I knew. So, I wondered if the flash of red I had seen in his eyes was just the reflection of mine._
> 
> _"She would have been happy to see you as you are right now. You had always been her pride, just as she had always held my heart."_
> 
> _His deep voice pierced the starry night quietly as if they were the melodious drizzle that fills one's heart when he plays the piano. Every word dripped of sadness and I could tell that they were for someone out of reach, someone he'd given up on ever finding again. And it hurt to witness this side of him, vulnerable and broken..._
> 
> _"You will learn to hate me and maybe I deserve it. But as long as you survive, nothing else matters."_


	2. First Encounter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part One: First Love  
> I want to know the mystery that is you,  
> Teach me what love is again, little by little.  
> -EXO

This seemingly ordinary tale begins an early morning in March when I, an ordinary fifteen-year-old boy going by the name of Lucas, was sliding across the hallways of Saint Andrew's college. In this sea of hormonal teenagers, there I was, sprawled on the floor like a wrecked ship. Everyone was laughing because somehow, to them, this daily routine was funny.

"So, glasses! Still, don't want to do my assignment?"

That voice, laced with mockery and what I would call plain stupidity, belongs to none other than Will Collins. Who is Will, you might ask. Well, aside from all the other titles I've given him, this six feet tall giant is the captain of the basketball team and Casanova of Lunch period who happens to also be the only international student of the 2012 first years. He got the looks, the body and all it is that the girls usually seek, except for the brains. Ain't really complicated, right?

Will and I had a history going way back to the very first day when he stepped here, funny accent and all. He received everyone's undivided attention immediately whereas I, timid and socially awkward by nature, stuck to the walls in hopes that I'd reach my classroom without making a fool of myself. I thought that my dark attire and the messy nest on my head would be enough camouflage but someone up there had apparently been keeping an eye on me... As I crawled past my fellow schoolmates, both seniors and juniors, I made the mistake of stepping on my own shoelaces. And who happens to be in the trajectory of my open bottle and books? You don't need a drawing, right?

Well, since that day, we sort of became acquainted on a personal level... way too personal, shall I add. He was after all the only one who had ever known my ribs this much. And on that day too, he wanted to say hi... because I sort of refused to work on his assignment while he went on a date with his Miss World of a girlfriend, Nadia. You would think I'd learned to shut my mouth after five years. But no; stupid Lucas just had to open it.

Groaning, I pulled myself slightly up, fists pressed down. To be crouched like this, on the floor, filled me with a familiar sense of humiliation; I was reminded yet again that I was destined to be weak, in more ways than one. And the fact that no one dared to speak against Will proved that that was indeed where I belonged.

"Say, freak. I think it's been a while since you've visited Grade 10's toilet."

Those words were like a splash of ice cold water to my aching body, enough to have me momentarily forget the pain. A shiver ran down my spine, bringing me to a state of paralysis, even as he pulled me up by the collar.

The Grade 10's toilet had been previously shut down due to lack of proper maintenance. Over the years, that part of the school could no longer bear the hyperactive nature of its young residents. Public access had been denied to the place since the priority of our principal had never been to renovate it. But kids of my generation ain't afraid to break an old dusty lock...

It was a dark, cold place that I knew all too well thanks to Will's generosity. The dust and the horrible stench of decaying animals and feces stuck to one's skin for days. Last Thursday itself, I had been subjected to the horror of it all... again. Worst scenario, I would be stuck in that hell of a place all day instead of getting an education. My survival instinct kicked in and I began to struggle against his hold.

"No, no, no. Please, no! I'll do your assignment and even all your homework for next week! Just, don't leave me there, please!" I pleaded, nails biting into the rough skin of his arms. They'd leave marks, for certain, but that didn't matter at the moment. The stage was set, the spotlight was on and the show was to go on.

"Oh, look! He finally talks."

The crowd only laughed louder in response, some even clapping in the corner of my eyes. They admired him and despised me. It was the way things were supposed to be.

As I continued to struggle, my eyes caught sight of two familiar faces; Josh and Paul. These were my best friends, or might I precise the only friends that hell of a place ever gave me. But even they, with their clenched fists and furrowed eyebrows, dared not face big Will. Last time they did, we had all ended up with ripped uniforms and swear words marked over our faces... It was their gaze that had my arms fall limp. There was no point in changing the script, not when the curtain had already been pulled up. Nothing could be done so all I had to do was shut everything out.

The crowd faded. Josh and Paul faded. Will faded. The laughter faded... All that was left was me and the darkness, my only safe place. Everything that was going on blurred away because what use was there in remembering it? Yesterday was but a reflection veiled by dust and fake hope; to join the pile like those that had preceded it. Tomorrow had nothing new to offer, did it? Then, I just had to skip to the credits-

"Let him go."

This voice, it was my first time hearing it. It reached through the dark, grabbed my hand and pulled me back to reality before I could even protest. And then, she was there; petite silhouette, caramel waves, and daffodil tainted eyes. It was the first time my gaze had come to rest on such an angelic face. If it were not for her confident stance, I would have mistaken her for a junior. Coffee drops lightly sprinkled over her nose and rosy cheeks, plump red lips... A foreigner? Again?

My gaze moved to her right hand, which was a red phone. She had something playing, which made everyone, without any exception, attentive. It took me a moment to realize that it was our previous conversation, with much emphasis on Will's threats. Confusion filled me as I looked at this stranger, the reflection of our face in each other's eyes for a split of a second. A scene no one had seen coming...

"And what do you think this will do?" asked a smirking Will, but his jaws were visibly clenched; this unexpected situation had set him off balance. He gulped, grip on my collar loosening a bit. He forced on a tough appearance but really, he was shaking beneath the surface. I was taken aback.

"I could send this to the principal and have you expulsed but I don't like your tone so I might send it to someone I know who works at the radio station. Imagine this ending up on every news channel and every university turning you down. Bye-bye, good life."

Not once did her voice falter, which made everything even more surprising. She clearly had the upper hand and all we could do was watch in awe, especially me. To have someone stand up for me like this... It stirred in me an emotion I had never felt before.

"Cherry, you wouldn't dare." said someone from behind her. A pause after the first word, long enough to catch my attention. But it was not in an entirely good way, for even if the name held some kind of brightness, it seemed to me that it did no justice to the sun that was this girl. It was merely a flash of lightning, hiding the growls of thunder and the heavy clouds with which it comes. And just as the thought occurred to me, it was gone.

"Test me, I dare you all." she challenged, glaring at the crowd. "I'm not watching any bullying like the rest of you. So you all better believe trouble is on the way... for keeping your stupid lips shut."

Whispers began to rise, worry clear on everyone's face. If they ever considered siding up with Will before, their resolution was crumbling under Cherry's threat. They'd let him fall if it meant them coming out without a scratch. Oh, don't you love hypocrites!

"He threatened me!" came a shout, soon followed by a messy chorus. My eyes surveyed all those frowning faces, lips stretched wide in anger and guilt. Those same lips had cheered as trails of red rushed down my skin, patches of blue and black growing a shade darker. Those hands had been raised higher than my cries and prayers, a deafening echo as the consciousness would slip away. Now they stayed crossed, demanding justice.

"Me too!"

"Yeah, me too!"

"That's no excuse for you to applaud him while he's terrorizing someone." simply replied Cherry, turning my way. Her chocolate eyes held pity as they took in my messed up hair, bruised cheek, and limp figure. I felt bare in front of her but, for the first time, it was not in a bad way... "Now let him go or I'll really send it."

Will slowly turned to me, then back to Cherry. I could almost see the cogs turning in his mind, weighing the damage and consequences. But as stupid as he was, Will knew what would work in his favor.

Slowly and clearly unwillingly, he let go of my collar and stepped away from me. His fists were clenched, veins rising up his arms, but unlike before, he kept them to himself.

I felt a hand go around my shoulder and my nostrils picked on a fruity scent. I looked to my side, where Cherry was already smiling at me and my heart skipped another beat. A blush crept to my cheeks, for I had never been so close to any girl... ever. I looked away, embarrassed, but I could not help the small smile on my face.

"Hepepep!" shouted Cherry just as Will was about to turn on his heels to leave. "You apologize first, mister."

Disbelief flashed in Will's eyes as he stared at the two of us. Even the others gasped at her request, whispering to themselves. Will had a reputation of never apologizing, even when he was obviously in the wrong. But as tough as he was, Cherry was even tougher. Yeah, that girl's always been something...

"I really want to press that button. What'ya say?" she asked me, nearing the phone to my face. Her thumb lingered on the send button, but what no one else could see was that she had already sent the recording. What was she playing at?

Just as I noticed it, the phone was snatched out of her hand, another wave of gasps erupting around us. Will looked proud of himself as he repeatedly tossed the red device up. His friends clapped for him, smirking at Cherry and me, thinking that they had regained the upper hand. I once again looked like a loser... But for the first time, I did not quite feel like one.

"No one plays with me and leaves unscathed, Cherry-pie." The smirk on his face was filled with cruelty and malice. I could almost see all the plans of revenge he had in store for us. And I don't know why but I moved forward, shielding her from Will.

"You might want to take a closer look at the screen, rubber boy." fake yawned Cherry as she peeped from behind my back. "What I did not tell you is that said acquaintance happens to be my dad. I'm sure he'll write you a very long report full of praises if I return home with a broken phone."

All the color drained from Will's face as realization eventually set in. His legs even shook slightly as he handed back the phone. And I, in all the years I have known Will, had never seen him look as vulnerable... and that was saying a lot.

Just then the bell rang, forcing everyone to scatter. But not before we all heard an anger-filled "I'm sorry, Lucas." Will dashed towards the main gate, soon followed by his minions, but I was still in shock when Cherry turned to me, laughing. I had to tilt my head down to look at her and my yellow-sleeved arms instantly itched to circle her frame. But I held myself back and offered her a brief but grateful smile instead.

"Thank you."

My voice was barely a whisper, probably groggy from the unshed tears and all the pressure I had previously felt, but her smile widened in return, reassuringly. My face turned even more red at the sight of it; she was breathtakingly beautiful.

"Don't mention it. I was glad to be your damsel in shining armor."

And with that, she rose her fist up, lightly aiming at my heart. It did not even last a second but I swear the tingles burned through my soul, forever marking this day into my memory. My eyes trailed after this angel, her voice still stuck in my head long after we parted. Josh and Paul eventually grabbed onto my arms and pulled me to class, all the while discussing the event, just like everyone else. They were all struck by the courage of this new girl. But I barely heard them or the teacher; all I could think about was the one person who helped me when I was a knight in distress.

Little did I know about how different this girl really was...


	3. Confessions

Life for me since that day was nothing less than a never-ending paradise. I mean, what's there to not like about being able to walk freely to class, without the fear of getting pushed against lockers? Sure, there were the occasional uncreative remarks and skanky glares, but thankfully, nothing I couldn't handle. It was as if Spring had settled in, bringing with it the colorful splashes and melodious whispers of Happiness. And amidst it all, the sun itself honoring me with a daily glimpse of its smile.

We had our fateful encounter on the very day she had transferred from Australia. Her dad, as it had been said previously, was a skilled entertainer in the radio industry. A trick of Fate had however forced them to relocate to our town, something I often thanked the gods for. She grew up as the loved middle child of a three-kid home, rushed into adulthood when her mother, unfortunately, passed away. The elder brother had soon left the nest as well, pursuing a dream that seemed far-fetched even to hin. Cherry was not filled with regret thou- Wait, we're getting out of subject now!

All I meant to say was that Cherry was just an ordinary girl coming from a faraway land who looked and behaved as any normal girl would. She had a past, filled with a bit of sadness and a bit of happiness, like everyone else. Nothing suspicious about how she had befriended everyone in a blink, unlike my antisocial self. To be honest, all she ever had to do was go "hey there" with anyone and boom, best friends forever... To say she was admired would be an understatement; boys would be volunteering to carry her things, walk her to class and pass her their notes whenever she was absent. And to this active fan club, I was proudly a permanent member.

I think like everyone else, I was entranced by her simple beauty, genuine kindness and that lack of height that made her look like a fragile canary. But no, she was no damsel in distress! Be it with Will, a grumpy teacher or the principal, Cherry knew how to hold her head high if need be, and I loved her for that.

I'd like to say that we became best friends too and would be doing each other's nails every weekend... But the truth is, we barely ever talked. Every day, I'd steal glances from her in English class, sneakily play with her silky hair while ticking the answers to geography questions, and follow her around like a lost puppy. Things never leveled up between us, mostly because I couldn't muster the right amount of courage...

"You're a damn stalker!" had exclaimed Paul, that one time he caught me hiding outside to sneak glances at her from the window. We were in the middle of a baseball game when the ball conveniently flew beside her class, providing me with a rare opportunity. I did not even return to the field after that, simply peeking in and memorizing the concentrated look on her face. Eyebrows raised slightly higher than usual and teeth biting into the back of her pen, she was only taking an exam but somehow looked like a masterpiece... She was that beautiful.

"No, I'm in love." would I protest but my words always met deaf ears. Friends... Why do we have them again?

So be it if I was a stalker in the eyes of the world, nothing bothered me as long as I could watch my Cherry every day, glowing like a flower covered in pixie dust under the moonlight. And as short as our interactions were for those two whole years, I enjoyed it because, whenever we did talk, we'd have a connection, you know. And every single time, my heart would attempt a breakout and my hands would become moist... I just knew I had fallen for her.

"You know, it's about high time you'd show some guts and ask her out." finally stated Josh, one day. A new semester of stress was greeting us, with more pointless stuff waiting to be carved into our minds, which explained why everyone around me looked slightly on edge. But as you can guess, things were different for me. If only we could have school on weekends too...

"I'm good," I replied, eyes searching the sea of students. There were all sorts of people attending our school but no one looked like Cherry, which made her quite easy to find. Maybe she already headed in...

"It's not like he stands a chance. We can't afford him turning into Gary." pipped in Paul, wrapping his arm around me. "He wouldn't survive it."

Let me explain; Gary was the typical example of high school love gone wrong. Though, among us boys, he was a true legend. Bathing himself in deodorant and avoiding dessert for one month, he had mustered all his courage to ask Cherry out as extravagantly as possible, only to be plainly rejected like an old sock. He did not show up for a week, only to reappear totally unrecognizable with his red eyes and baggy sweaters. I really was sorry for him but, at the same time, relieved for the fall in competition... Many Gary followed until ultimately everyone stopped trying.

It was one of the reasons why I would not ask her out, not that I would willingly admit that aloud. I knew my two idiotic friends wouldn't let me live through it...

"I won't be another Gary." I huffed as we managed to make it just in time for the bell to ring.

"Confident much," smirked Paul, before letting the conversation die. He knew that my whole attention would be elsewhere anyway... So I eventually assumed that they were done with me but boy, was I wrong. There they were again, clinging onto me at lunch as if that'd stop me from following my sunshine.

"What about graduation?" perked Josh, gaze careful as he awaited my response. His steps were slow, purposefully dragging against the dirty tiles. One of my eyebrows quirked up in response, urging him to continue. His next question was what managed to get my full attention, each word pronounced so slowly that I grew annoyed. They never acted like this. "You're gonna wait till then to ask her out?"

"How does it matter?"

"He hasn't realized it yet." groaned Paul on my other side. My steps came to a stop, arms crossing over my front. If they didn't stop beating around the bush soon...

"Realised what?"

Josh let out an irritated sigh while Paul nervously watched him. It felt like they were hiding something and since it concerned Cherry, I needed to know.

"Graduation day, Lucas! You must have thought about it, right?" Paul winced at his high pitched voice, fingers scratching at the back of his head.

"What about-"

"She'll return to Australia." cut-in Josh, visibly angered by my ignorance. And in response, all I could say was, "What?"

"Once we graduate, she'll move back to Australia and attend university there. Which means, unless you grow a pair and ask her out, you won't be seeing her ever again."

His ice-cold gaze and the total indifference in his tone did not help me at all in digesting this new information. Just like that, all the strength abandoned my legs, making me fall forward with just enough time to brace the fall with my outstretched arms. All of my things scattered, alerting the other students, who immediately stopped.

"It's okay. It's okay. Keep going." dismissed Paul, picking my things up while I pathetically sought answers from the dirty floor. Various thoughts were racing through my mind, but the one that appeared the most was the fear of her gone.

"You still got this year," whispered Josh, leaning closer to my ear. With a comforting pat on my back, he urged me to get my act together. "Ask her out and race the exams. Then, follow her to the end of the world all you want."

I knew he was right but I could not answer him. I was in some sort of trance, divided by the fear of never seeing my ray of light again, broken at the idea of her meeting a herculean Australian who'd make her forget all about me, and scared of facing her rejection. The last one was more likely to happen, which made me feel even worse. With this, the day dragged on, my feet heavy and my heart aching. Cherry and I had a few eye contact but I could only force a smile and look away.

"What's wrong?" she eventually asked in Geography, our teacher coincidentally taking his sweet time to arrive. He never did that when I really wanted to start a conversation...

"I want to ask you out because I've liked you for almost two years now, but I'm afraid you will reject me like Gary." was how I answered in my mind. But in reality, all I said was, "Nothing, just tired."

I should have been elated to have her talking to me, looking at me, sharing my air... But the pain was too great to be ignored. So I played with her hair throughout the whole class, not once caring if she noticed or not. I walked out without a word once it was over, actually ignoring her till the very last minute.

"We told you to ask her out, not run away from her," said Paul on our way back home, hitting the back of my head with his maths book.

"Ouch."

"You're an idiot!" exclaimed Josh, pinching me in turn. "Even Cherry asked whether you were angry at her."

"She did?"

"Of course she did! You barely talked to her all day and you're usually at her heels," he replied, pinching harder.

"I just- argh I- she-"

"You're scared." he interrupted, knowing well enough that my mind wasn't functional enough to form proper sentences. "And it's stupid."

"At this rate, even Will might get his chance," said Paul, which earned him a glare from the two of us. "What? It's not like it's a lie."

Indeed, Will and Cherry had by some odd tricks of Fatehas grown closer, and I hated it... From time to time, they would be seen joking in the canteen, walking out of school together or even racing each other on the field. It made my blood boil every single time, especially with Will smirking whenever he would catch me glaring. I don't know what Cherry was thinking but I really didn't like the sight of them together. First of all, their height difference was a big no. Sure, I was also taller but, at least, we have the perfect gap. On the other hand, Will looked like an ugly skyscraper next to her... Then there's the fact that he was too stupid in every subject and let's not forget the times he used to practice boxing on me-

"You need to step up your game, Lucas," said Josh, pulling me to a stop. His grip on my shoulders was tight, eyes pointedly staring into mine. His expression was grim but gentle under the chocolate hair he always kept tucked under a baseball cap. "You like Cherry and I won't stand around as you lose your mind because of her. If she rejects you, then we'll be there for you, but if you act like a coward and don't face her, you might as well stop the chase."

Never would I have thought Josh, out of all people, to throw that ultimatum at me. And for some reason it fired me up; thus operation Confessing to Cherry sprung to life. Paul and Josh even helped me find ideas, though I doubt the help now... For the first attempt, I gave her a flower but the intensity of her gaze and the sight of her pursed lips had me running in the opposite direction before she could even thank me. Next, I tried a plush dinosaur toy, since Paul had read somewhere that girls like that stuff. I thought it'd pair well with the key ring attached to her pencil case and it did go well. But for some stupid reason, instead of saying I bought it for her, I told her it was for her little sister. I know, lame... We tried pretty cards, matching key rings, jewelry, sweets... literally everything heart-filled books and the Internet could offer. But I was too much of a coward to properly tell her how I actually felt.

Then, Valentine's day showed its nose and Will forced his way into our class, roses, and chocolate in hand. He walked with purpose, his smile widening when he saw me in the seat right behind hers. I cursed under my breath, pulling away completely. Eyes glued to the yellow box under my desk, I was suddenly reminded of the torturous days he once walked me through.

"W-Will? What are y-you doing here?" stuttered Cherry, as surprised as everyone else to see him. Her eyes drifted to me for a brief second before going back to him. I did not bother to hide my scowl.

"It's Valentine's day." beamed my nemesis, making quite a show as he displayed his gifts on her desk. The bouquet looked expensive and so did the chocolate. He was pulling out the big guns and judging by the other girls' expressions, it was working. "Boys are supposed to get the chocolate but the rules don't apply when it comes to you, Milady."

I could hear the whispers of our fellow classmates, all intrigued when he took hold of her hand and brought it to his lips. It was quite clear that some were already rooting for this new ship while others were confused as to why she had not rejected him yet. I was obviously part of the second group.

"That's really nice of you." she smiled sweetly. "I appreciate the gesture."

She quickly retrieved her hand, arms crossing over her chest while she looked at everyone but him. She clearly didn't know how to handle the situation.

A blunt 'I don't like you' would do the job, I muttered to myself, only to have them both turn to me. Shit! I said that aloud!

Cherry's gaze stayed on me for a minute too long while I picked at my jacket. I knew she was looking at me because her body was turned my way and that made me wish the ground would open up and swallow me whole. Idiot, idiot, idiot...

"Will." she finally said, looking at him dead in the eye. "Let's talk about this after school. Wait for me at the lab."

And, I didn't know if I needed to be relieved or not.


	4. Say What

_I kicked at the air, sat on the edge of the infirmary bed, and wolfing down the giant dinosaur chocolate cookie I had baked for her. In the end, I sought refuge in the infirmary and ate my_ _frustration away, in vain. Come to think of it, I was quite acquainted with this feeling. It had happened before, at a time when I still didn't know how to tie my laces. My hair was shorter and I could not even reach the first shelf in the kitchen. I remember being drenched by_ _the rain, shaking with fear to the point that I could no longer walk. The world had felt vast then; a labyrinth. Such a dusty memory which fades into the darkening sunset._

_"I'm sorry, Lucas! I failed-"_

_Yes, Failure is hard because it strips you of your dreams when you think you're close to actually winning. Everything is ruined within moments and all you can do is watch. You watch and you learn to live with it... For a moment, a very brief one, I had forgotten that I was born a failure. I let down my guards and dared to dream... Now, Fate was putting me back in my place. And the ache at my temples wouldn't stop, not even with the pills. Damn it!_

_"I can't keep you any longer, kid." yawned Raina, knuckles rubbing at one of her eyes. The raven strands of her straight hair flew down her back in a short ponytail, the front puffed up slightly to highlight even more her diamond face. She was just a nurse at our school, the type which did get many faking an illness. But if only they knew the clumsy nerd that hid behind squared spectacles... It was a habit of mine to seek her stupid stories, weird food experiments and that omnipresent_ _crooked smile in times of solitude and mental drain. Weird how easy it was for us to get along_ _... "Hilary has a competition tonight and I'm supposed to be the driver."_

_Hilary was the_ _nine-year-old Raina would babysit after school to afford that shitty apartment a few blocks away. It still made no sense to me that she wouldn't move out, especially when I had proposed a quite enticing deal, but the woman had her pride_ _. So I shot her a comprehensive smile and plopped myself off the bed. "Yeah, I feel better anyway."_

_A lie. We both knew it. But all she did was ruffle my hair and fix my glasses, sending me off with a, "Damn, you still look like a grumpy grandpa!"_

_That's how I found_ _myself_ _aimlessly wandering the hallways, unmotivated to go back to class and clueless to good spots for skipping. I really wanted to lunge a punch in Will's impeccably chiseled face but had a feeling it wouldn't leave a scratch. Damn him, that's not how it was supposed to go! Why did he have to always meddle in like that? Didn't he have anything better to do than to continuously ruin my life? And what if she did accept going out with him?... I rubbed at my temples, groaning. Was he worth getting a criminal record for?_

_"Lucas!"_ _Josh's worried face suddenly popped in front of me, pulling me out of my daze. And I blinked at him, confused._ _"Are you okay?"_

_Somehow, in the midst of my stroll, I had started a fight with the wall, attracting quite a crowd despite myself. An arm wrapped itself around my back and I dropped my gaze to blood caked on my knuckles, frowning. I couldn't only feel tingles but I did wish it had really been his face._

_"Let's get you out of here, buddy!" Josh tried, encouragingly. On any other day, his voice of reason would have me obediently tagging along but unfortunately, that was the very moment my gaze landed on her nectarous face. She was with Will, yet again, and it hurt so much. They were laughing, they looked happy... I had lost. My gaze followed as they disappeared together in a class and Will's friends stayed behind, guarding the closed door. It was like time had stopped and I was struggling against it, forcing my way through the sea of people. Who knew what they were doing in there? I had to do something; to stop her at all cost. It was all I could think of... all I could focus on. My mind was not working anymore; I had to get to her._

_"Where do you think you're going, four-eyes?"I heard as I walked straight into a wall of muscles. I racked the back of my mind for a name, only getting one when I noticed the fake Rolex at a buffy wrist. Derek, Will's right-hand, was glaring down at me like a giant of stone. Had I been in my right mind, I would have probably taken to my tail already. Too bad for him though; any sense of rationality had apparently left me._

_"Get out of my way!" I tried to go around him but a rough tug at my collar had me staggering backward all of a sudden. The difference in strength was overwhelming; I found myself tripping_ _onto someone else._

_"Look,_ _nerd_ _, know your place!" warned Derek, trying to intimidate me with his height. Years ago, he had enjoyed slamming me into walls, trying to punch me into them. And he would always mention how nice I looked on the floor, a whining mess under his shoes. Hesitancy made me freeze at the memory, my eyes bulging out for a moment. But the pain never came and I quickly understood that he couldn't hurt me... Not anymore! So struggling to my feet, I reached_ _for the knob again. But he beat me to it, yanking my arm before his fingers missed my neck. But his elbow didn't and my glasses went flying as I stumbled towards the door, light-headed. Just then, the latter chose to open, exposing a laughing Will. "At least, I had that one against you_ _too_ _-"_

_He never got to finish his sentence, not with me crashing into him. There was a general gasp from the crowd as we both fell, with my head banging against the floor. In the stillness of it all, everything blinked black and my ears began to buzz as if my head was filled with bees. Then, hit the pain; a struck of lightning. I pushed myself up, cussing._

_"You idiot-"_

_"Will, don't!"_

_Blurry silhouettes were moving in front of me, one I quickly assumed to be Cherry's and the other being Will. Her body was partly shielding mine from the latter, rushed voices swimming around me. An eternity went by like this before he fumed out, courtesy of Cherry's orders. Josh would later explain how they had argued for almost five minutes, making quite a scene, before a fear-stricken Derek was escorted away. To where? No one exactly knew, but he appeared three days later with an arm in a sling._

_"Everyone leave."_

_I still could not see that well, now remembering the tragic fate of my reading companion. What a hassle! I could even feel the blood dripping from my throbbing cheek and head. I was too tired to deal with this, I thought while leaning onto the legs of a desk. Maybe I could just sleep-_

_"Look at you!" her silky voice called out and I was instantly engulfed by a wave of Vanilla. I opened my eyes and she was right there, literally straddling me as she nonchalantly pushed my glasses over the bridge of my nose. I looked at her through the dirty glass, eyes widening at our proximity. She was so close that I could feel her breath and see the deep shade of her orbs. I forgot how to breathe. "Jealous boys sure are a handful!"_

_"Jea-Jealous bo-boys?"_

_"What? You thought I would not_ _realize?" she asked, tilting her head to the side with an air of mischief. She was so cute... "The stu_ _-stuttering, the flowers, the cards... you picking a fight with Will's mates."_

_"I was not picking-"_

_I winced when the pads of her fingers suddenly pressed a handkerchief against my forehead. But the pain was soon forgotten, my heart pounding loudly against the bars of its cage. At the same time, I leaned into her touch, unable to help it. There was this delicate feel to her_ _skin_ _as if she was made of silk rather than human cells. "Sure you weren't, buddy!"_

_I didn't know what to say; my heart was overpowering my mind with its incessant pounding. And her face said it all; she could see right through me and was not going to hold back with the mockery. Ashamed, all I could do was lower my gaze._

_"You like me,_ _Lucas_ _, don't you?"_

_"I- I- The thing is- I-"_

_This was bad; the words were failing me again. All that_ _practice_ _in front of the mirror only to-_

_"Yes or no?"_

_"Yes!" I breathed out, feeling like a caged bird. Cherry did have her way... always. Bewildered, I raised my head up and finally met her gaze. She was so breathtakingly beautiful and taunting, hands reassuringly resting on my_ _shoulders_ _... But how did she know about my feelings? What was going to happen now-_

_"Let's date then!"_

_Say what?_


	5. Troubled Waters*

_The short man let out a hiss as he turned over, fingers blindly reaching for the sheets as they slipped past his legs. Somehow, it was colder than he thought it should be, which could only mean that he had either left the windows open or he had not turned the heater on. Whichever reason it was, his room was freezing._ Ironical _, he thought, blinking away the sleep to have a better look around. And so, he ignored the rising ache at his temples and tried to make sense of his surrounding._

_The sour taste on his tongue and the foul scent in the room were enough to remind him of their antics. Despite his resolutions at the start of the night, he had drunk a lot and maybe he overdid it when he crawled into the mini-bar once back home. He'd get an earful later, for sure... How much had he drunk again? Six? Eight bottles? No doubt he wanted to shut himself away from the light buzz of the awakening city._

_"Tom, get down!... No, Garfield! Not my cheesecake!" came a soft whine behind him, urging the thick eyebrowed man to turn around once more. And what a surprise it was to find his best friend snoring softly beside him, one arm resting on his shirtless front. Tiny beads of sweat were scattered over his exposed forehead, a wet trail at the edge of his thin lips while he dreamed about cartoons again. But even more surprising were the black marks on his cheeks, curls and lines brought together in a rather artistic way._ Idi-ot _,_ _read the room's owner, stifling a laugh behind his fist. He could not quite remember it all but a lot had obviously happened that previous night._

_Minseok was half-tempted to kick the main vocalist off his freshly pressed cotton sheets but refrained himself at the last minute. If he was even comfortably tucked in the safety of his room, it was most likely thanks to Jongdae. Still though, if it hadn't been for the loud kid, there would have been no hangover in the first place. And for that, the elder flicked him on the forehead, grinning at the whine he earned in response._

_They had indeed left the windows open, realized Minseok as feet stretching. He swept a hand through his currently black locks, hesitating between crawling into Jongdae's side to sleep or speeding to the bathroom to relieve his bladder. The choice was made within seconds, tingles at his toes when he made the mistake of shifting closer to his friend's warm body. No, glaring at Jongdae's hand would not help him in any way; he had to take the path of thorns. And so he did, hissing as his barefoot skipped over the cold floorboards._

_To say they were less busy would be an overstatement. Indeed, the idea of surprising their fans and overtaking the charts once more sounded appealing, but their company had other plans for them this year. Minseok himself, who was always juggling with concert days and study breaks, could feel the lack of tension in the air. The subunit was going to release an album, of course, but even he knew that it would not be as hectic as when the entire group would show up. Still, they were doing great! He was doing great! What were a few blank spaces in his daily schedules, anyway? He badly needed the holiday._

_He exited the bathroom about half an hour later, water dripping from the ends of his front hair and teeth chattering slightly. His stinky black shirt had been discarded, a tiny pill popped into his mouth on the way out. Minseok was an organized man, always working according to the plan. And so, it was quite easy for him to notice the slight shift of his books on the shelves and the door of his closet left ajar. He would not wear pink rhino slippers either, he also thought when his gaze moved to the door. It instantly clicked into his mind._

_"I hope for you that I don't find any misleading photos..."_

_The words bounced back at him, feeding his doubts for a short moment. Nothing else seemed off to him until someone sneezed, the sound loudly rippling through the air._ Got ya!

_Quickly, Minseok closed the gap between him and the closet, discarding the white towel he had over his shoulders. Jongdae groaned at the wet material, pushing it hastily away from his face before snuggling even further into Minseok's pillows and sheets. He was not a heavy sleeper but they'd made it through half of the booze stock. Who knew when he would finally regain consciousness?_

_Stepping into the comfort of his sweatpants, Minseok allowed his gaze to land upon the inside mirror of the narrow space. Pale skin and round chin, the young man was known for being handsomely cute despite his age. Maybe it had something to do with his big eyes, the dark coffee-drops that hid behind thin lids. Or rather, those puffed out cheeks of his which had earned him the nickname of_ baozi _. It could also be those- His arms froze halfway through sliding the oversized shirt on, a glint in his back catching his attention. Sure enough, it appeared again after a few seconds and Minseok whirled around._

_"Reveal yourself already," he called to the shadows, lips pulled into a thin line. Silence answered him for a long moment, his breathing as loud as the steady beat in his chest. But eventually, the shadows moved again and Minseok's eyes softened at the familiar face. "What are you doing here, Alerie? And- And is that Vivi?"_

_The ball of white fur let out a bark at its name, tongue slipping in and out of its mouth rapidly while its tail whipped about happily. The young woman ran her hands down its back, the ghost of a smile at her lips and a twinkle in her gaze. Her hair was shorter than he remembered, the dark curls pulled back into a small ponytail. The usual suit pants and spring-colored blouses had been exchanged for a pair of navy jeans and a white hoodie, a combination that made her look younger. But her face remained grave, even as she stepped into the warmth of Minseok's welcoming arms._

_"You didn't invite me to the party." she pouted as she pulled back, lips pushed forth and head hung low. This close, Minseok noticed the scars at her neck, pale but present. He was quick to look away though, well aware of how uncomfortable it would make her. "I even found Sehun Oppa sleeping on the stairs. I feel betrayed, Oppa."_

_Minseok felt tiny licks at his fingers while Vivi tried to jump into his arms, the creases at his forehead stretching away when it turned into light nibbles. Tan was, without a doubt, his most precious treasure but he did like his brothers' pets as well. It always amazed him how Vivi was always shying away from smooches but would never fail to shower Minseok with kisses just to get treats. Indeed, just like its owner... The elder man scratched at Vivi's head, the tips of his lips tugged up before responding to Alerie._

_"He claimed it was as soft as the clouds and no one was about to argue with him." And that had been even before they'd all gathered in the living room, clashing bottles against bottles. They had heard him yell at some point, Jongin somehow stumbling his way through the mini car tracks on the floor and throwing a blanket at him. Then, they had resumed a furious argument about tigers and bears in sports gears. Eventful night, undeniably..._

_"You dorks," said Alerie, head shaking left and right. "Always being a mess... How did you even get those millions of fans?"_

_"Hey, you're an eri too! And our EXO-L find it cute, you know." retorted Minseok, arms crossing over his chest in mock anger. It lasted for five seconds, after which they both broke into a laughing fit. Jongdae grumbled from his spot, shifting again but not without his arms wrapped around a pillow protectively. The sight was endearing, really. And brushing away the tears at his eyes, Minseok finally calmed down. "I'm glad you came back."_

_Alerie smiled at that, unveiling her pearly teeth and eyes shrinking into slits. But it seemed fake, which pained Minseok more than he would admit._

_"I've been good, apparently so he promoted me to babysitting," she replied, lowering herself to the ground as if that would hide her tears from him. She tried to sound unperturbed by it all and would have succeeded, had her voice not cracked in the end. The man did not hesitate to fall to his knees too, arms tight around her slim frame. He knew of her struggle; had seen the tears roll down her cheeks and the bruises on her skin. He was unfortunate enough to know the pitch of her voice when she begged for mercy, feet wobbling with pain and exhaustion. But most of all, he knew of the knife still buried in her heart, keeping her alive but killing her slowly. If anything, he knew she did not feel as fine as she claimed to be._

_"Alerie-"_

_"He said he was taking her to Dubai with you all. How lucky of her!" she breathed into his neck, lips shaking while trying to hold back the tears. Her shoulders were tense beneath his touch, chest heaving up and down so fast that he feared she'd stop breathing altogether. "I'm glad he's sending me away. I'll enjoy the sun and the sea- Cherry will be there- And I- I-"_

_"He shouldn't treat you like this." soothed Minseok, fingers threading through her soft curls. "You deserve so much, sweetheart. I'm so so-"_

_"What are you doing?" came the interruption, a deep voice that sent the girl on her feet, palms violently rubbing at her eyes. Sobs still sent shivers through her body when the other one stepped in, brows pulled together and gaze aggravated. The black tuxedo shaped his toned body to perfection, a tiny bow hanging loosely from his collar and a golden watch at his wrist. He looked extravagant, with a hint of fantasy. Clearly, not his usual style of clothing._

_"Kyungsoo," began Minseok, tongue clinking as he protectively stepped in front of Alerie. "Where are you going this late?"_

_"I don't remember my outings being any of your business, hyung." sharply replied the younger, one eyebrow raised higher than the other. Pale, slender fingers pulled at his sleeves while he talked, making him look as defying as he sounded. "But if you must know, I have a date."_

_"Seriously? Even if you called her here?" angrily asked Minseok, an arm shooting up to point at a sobbing Alerie. The shaking had ceased but wet trails still rushed down her face, eyes looking at anywhere but the doorway. On the other hand, Kyungsoo's gaze shamelessly lingered over that tall frame which quivered because of him. He clearly enjoyed this, whatever this was. And it was so out of his character, a total change from the sweet boy Minseok knew him to be. But Kyungsoo's mind was set and it was clear that nothing could stop him. In the mystery of his thoughts was the truth behind his behavior. If only he talked to them..._

_"I called her because I thought it necessary. We have a situation right now and I'm being generous enough to give her a second chance. Nothing more than that, which still does not explain why I found you two looking awfully intimate."_

_"No! No! You're wrong! Minseok oppa just-"_

_"Go to your room. I have to talk to your Minseok Oppa!" roughly cut Kyungsoo, discarding her presence with a quick wave of the hand. Alerie visibly flinched, eyes darting between the two men with clear hesitation. In normal circumstances, she was this strong and fearless woman, even intimidating if one was courageous enough to provoke her. But it took this much for Kyungsoo to turn her into this frail, little thing. It was pathetic, really, because she deserved the world and he refused her the simple wish for his approval._

_"It's alright. Go, sugar!" eventually said Minseok, forcing a smile to ease her worries. It was not like she would ever deliberately disobey Kyungsoo, but she cared a lot about Minseok and the latter was no ignorant to her affection. Still, he knew he was not worth her going through more trouble. And so, he patted her back gently and urged her to get going, purposefully ignoring his colleague's glare. Alerie hesitated four times, eyes glancing back to Minseok when Kyungsoo's glare would become too much. But eventually, she crossed the threshold and not even a second later, a strong hand was clutched around Minseok's collar, pressing him into the wall._

_"Don't touch her." came the warning, loud and clear like the heated blade of a knife slicing through butter. The tension had risen even more now that the girl was gone. A pity, thought the raven-haired singer. If only she knew what went on behind her back._

_"Stop hurting her!" hissed back Minseok, voice equally cold. He was not one to get angry easily, mostly focusing his attention on things that were not already out of hand. And he knew Kyungsoo to be the same, which further angered him. They were so alike and yet, he just could not understand the younger._

_"I'm not hurting her." seethed the bald man, his eyes unmistakably filled with innocence, ego and something akin to fear. "I'm making her strong, unlike you all, because I know what's good for her. Know your place, hyung! You have no say in the matter."_

_"You already made her stronger than anyone else, stronger than any of us. At this rate, you'll break her." spat the elder, even as his face turned a deeper shade of red and veins began to bulge out of his neck. His lungs were on fire, the organs constricting painfully with each intake of air. And his nails dug into Kyungsoo's wrist, trying to pry his hold off. But it was only when the world looked like a black canvas that he was freed, his falling down with a heavy thump. While he coughed on the ground, Minseok caught the glimpse of bare toes and forced himself to listen despite the hammering in his ears._

_"Are you crazy?" was shouting Jongdae, the sleepiness gone from his face. His loud voice boomed across the entire floor, urging steps to head their way while a cry erupted in the adjacent room. Hair messily pushed out of his face, he looked as if he was seconds away from punching Kyungsoo's pretty face. "Apologize right now!"_

_"I have nothing to apologize for," growled Kyungsoo, looking as mad as the man he called brother. The bow had fallen from his collar, replaced by a rough hand. And he tried his best to look indifferent but the fire in his eyes was brighter than the morning star._

_"What's all this ruckus about?" groaned Junmyeon, fist rubbing at his eye. A taller shadow followed close behind, Jongin yawning into his huge teddy bear while pulling a whining Baekhyun. The latter was only dressed in an oversized shirt, clearly stolen from Chanyeol's closet, and had one sock missing. Junmyeon's eyes surveyed the room, frown deepening when he noticed Minseok's shaking body on the ground. "Why are you fighting?"_

_His questions remained ignored, Minseok glaring up at Kyungsoo while trying to sit up. It had not been enough for him to pass out but he knew that Kyungsoo could kill him if he really wanted to. And right now, he didn't know if the man was going to let go, had Jongdae not intervened. There would be scars to cover up for the days to come, but even more so would be the obvious tension that now burdened them._

_"He's staying here when we're going to Dubai. I don't care if his acting schedules get shifted or if he does a new collaboration but I don't want him anywhere near me," warned Minseok while he raised to his feet, ignoring the confused expressions of their roommates. One last glare was thrown at the tight-lipped Kyungsoo before he rushed out of the room, out of the dorm and out of this mess. "Either he stays or I do."_


	6. Secrets

_On an early afternoon, I found myself reading at the back of the classroom, by the window. The stiffness of the chair and the pitter patter that echoed across the room had me sighing for the past hour as nothing would soothe away the chilling cold. It was break time and I had to strip away my jacket since, contrary to their habit, my classmates were amassed before the dusty fan. They were quite a funny sight with their tired limbs melting over the chairs and drowsy palms waving before their sweaty faces. Their glistening skin reminded me of those dunes in the middle of the desert, so red that the wind could have blown them away. But they stayed, only stretching every now and then for a half-hearted complaint._

_It had been a nice morning, with the lilac sky slowly turning pastel as I traced my way back to school. The birds prayed in unison over swaying branches, soft feathers drowning in warm hues of ochre. It was beautifully cold, pertinently heart-wrenching, and I had hugged the collar of my coat closer. By nine in the morning, the swishing hush had become part of the background and even the teachers, with their stern faces, appeared drained of all energy as they wiped at their foreheads. I kept the scarf wrapped around my neck._

_I was used to the furrowed brows and the lips tugged down. I was used to the creases and the whispers. I was used to it all._

_There was suddenly a pat on my shoulder and I found myself staring into muddy skies. Immediately, I turned the book over and straightened into my seat. It had been a good morning, but it had yet to become an amazing day. I was hoping it did. "Hello!"_

_Fingers found each other beneath the desk, pinching and biting and scarring like beasts. My gaze found its way down, to the white crossed shoes that had swallowed her feet. "Hey, you came... I-I'm glad."_

_"Of course, I would. Aren't you hot in all those layers?"_

_"No. I l-like the heat. It doesn't b-bother me."_

_An eyebrow was quirked up but flappy lips remained sealed. She was wearing knee-length socks and not one button was undone from her shirt; I clearly wasn't the only one not affected as much. But there was more than could meet the eye and I caught glimpse of a bottle of iced water in her backpack. Then, she was dropping into the opposite chair, head dropping over the book._

_"Hectic day?" I asked once I realized that she had no intention of waking up any time soon. Already, heads were turning this way and, reflexively, I leaned away. But unlike the first few days, the whispering kept to a minimum, as did the staring. Or maybe, I was just getting used to that as well._

_"I had an argument with a guy earlier." The mumbling pulled my attention back to rosy cheeks and I realized that strands of her hair had been blown over her face. I could reach my hand forward and card them away. But I could also let it be. In the end, I grabbed a spare copybook and chose to use it as hand-fan. There was the glimpse of a smile, soon replaced by a pout. "He was snapping pictures of me during Art class. He didn't want to delete the photos though and he denied everything in front of the teacher."_

_There was a pause, one that didn't go unnoticed. But I chose silence over words, finding it wise not to jump to conclusions. If it bothered her, she did not show it._

_"I wouldn't have said anything but I've been seeing him around a lot this week. And, I don't know... it just has me anxious. Do you know what I mean? Was I wrong?"_

_"Who is supposed to answer this? The tutor or the boyfriend?"_

_"Boyfriend. Cause I missed him." she grinned, eyes open ever so slightly to shoot me a wink. It was cute how her puffy cheeks dipped in the middle, her moonlit skin almost glowing against the blue of her shirt. Outside, the sky growled and cried harder._

_"I missed you too," I whispered inaudibly, granting her a quick smile. There was this uneasiness in my chest however and it would not fade away. "And... your boyfriend thinks m-maybe it's best if he looks into i-it instead."_

_Thick beads raced each other down the window pane, merging and slipping. It was indeed a hot day but everything seemed so cold out there. It had me quivering in my seat, beneath the sleeves and the stares._

_"It's not that bad, I think. I don't even know if I'm being followed and-"_

_"If you don't like it, then it shouldn't be happening." I hoped the guilt in my eyes weren't showing as the words filled the space between us. Maybe she'd blame it on my timidity or concern and, hopefully, she wouldn't question my inability to meet her gaze. "But it'd be easier for me to make it stop."_

_"And why is that?"_

_I didn't reply._

_***_

_The bench at the top right corner was not exactly the best but it had, at least, the benefit of being less crowded. The view wasn't that bad either as it gave onto the blooming flamboyant of the parking lot. Okay, maybe it was a little dusty but still, bearable._

_A lady gowned in all black sat a few rows below, the closest person to me until Josh's arrival. The wrinkle-less coat draped over her shoulders seemed to hide all of her features but the porcelain skin of her face and hands. She even wore one of those thick sunglasses, the type that took over most of her face. And I imagined her eyes a deep shade of purple, glowing amidst the silvery rays of a moonlit sky. The thin strands of caramel that curled over her shoulders were neatly tugged back with a simple elastic band. Yet, the ends came out as rough and thick, untamed for whatever reason. It was intriguing, even more as the minutes passed and neither her arms nor her legs uncrossed._

_"It's rude to stare." I heard over my shoulders, catching sight of a hideous yellow shirt. "Now that you have a girlfriend, maybe take some lessons on how to behave in society."_

_"The only rude thing here is you in that shirt. How many times do I have to tell you not to-"_

_"Yeah, yeah! But I'm still going to wear it. Find yourself a new best friend, if you're that embarrassed." came the half-hearted protest. I rolled my eyes at that, attention shifting back to the strange lady while he settled beside me. She glanced back once, seemingly at us, though it was hard to tell with those sunglasses. When she regained her previous posture, her shoulders were obviously more tensed. But before the sprouts of suspicions could grow into more, my attention was pulled to a dense envelope. "Might be a little tricky to find one as helpful though."_

_Strange lady and splashing sounds were forgotten as my fingers ripped open the seal to unveil a burst of colors. My thoughts were confirmed and I picked the first photograph. It was a blurry shot, one emphasizing too much on glassy eyes. Yet, it conveyed clearly the surprise and fear that must have been felt at that moment._

_"You were right; it was Sebastian," explained Josh, presenting a folded page on which was a list of locations. One, in particular, had been highlighted five times and there was no mistaking the link. "He uploaded the pics by groups of nine, with three hours difference. It started around three, at school, and then he did the rest at his place. He always logged in an hour earlier, most probably to edit everything out. Gary said Sebastian wanted him to do it at first. But Gary failed Maths last year so he's been attending tuitions all afternoon."_

_"Any witness?" I asked, noticing a rather pertinent photo. While the lighting seemed to hint towards the middle of the day, the clock behind the silhouette pointed at it just being ten o'clock. And there was not much to go about, except for the fact that the second silhouette was clearly hunched over a book. It had to have been during class._

_"Julien saw him at the library around three and a few of Cherry's friends mentioned the incident online. His name showed up a few times but, as a few mentioned, he never showed the photos so it could have been anything. Although, we now know that really was the case."_

_Sure enough, it was not that unusual of an incident and Sebastian, as innocent as he appeared with his cherry-flavored lollipop, was far from incapable of handling such a situation. After all, that had been exactly why he'd been recruited in the first place. It was a decision I was starting to regret._

_"I'll talk to him." There were more photos in the envelope, most of which that vaguely seemed recent and familiar. But I really didn't have the mind to look at them at the moment. If there was anything I'd gathered by then, it was that things were not going to be solved easily._

_"No, no, no!" tsked Josh, creases adorning the middle of his forehead. "You need to shut that thing down. I've told you from the start, it was a bad idea. Not only is it an infringement of privacy but she said it herself Lucas, she could get hurt."_

_"I'll reason him in one way or another. But he won't hurt her, I'm sure of that."_

_"No,_ you _won't hurt her. But Sebastian isn't you and what happened yesterday, it could be ten times worse." he paused for a moment, gaze moving to the side of the pool where I knew Cherry's group was. A flash of guilt shadowed his face but it was gone quicker than it had appeared. "I admit it, your intentions were naive and innocent. Now though, she's relying on you and you can't ignore that just because you feel bad for a couple of obsessed kids."_

_"I know that!" I argued back, voice loud despite the lump in my throat. "But I also understand how they feel. The least I can do is not steal away the one thing that makes them feel important."_

_The atmosphere had grown tensed within seconds and would have probably stayed so if it were not for a particular shout. I finally turned to the pool, towards the closer edge, where a familiar figure was clad in a yellow towel and waved energetically. Needless to say, she had successfully caught everyone's attention. As surprising as it may sound, I had grown used to it._

_"Wait for me by the gate in fifteen minutes. I'll be quick."_

_From the corner of my eyes, I could see the lady in black moving out of her seat and, not long after, so was Josh. His face was unreadable but the glint in his eyes was enough to let me know that the conversation was far from over. All he did though, as feeble hands straightened the front of his jacket, was to give me one last warning._

_"You're already lying about your relationship, don't risk it with something as stupid as this."_

_Those words stayed on my mind as I looped my fingers with Cherry's, the two of us squished in one of the back seats of the afternoon bus. The sky had darkened considerably and the number of pedestrians began to thin out. As much as we'd been waiting for that moment, I just couldn't shake my thoughts off of this. Somewhere, at the back of my mind, I knew Josh was right. Yet, call it my naive faith and ego, I wasn't ready to accept it._

_"You've been awfully silent." yawned a tiny voice, with which came a sudden weight on my shoulder. I looked down at the still damp hair, noting the lit device in her hand. The screen was filled with words, a quick glance informing me that it was an article about the upcoming Olympics closing ceremony. I didn't read further._

_"Sorry, you were saying?"_

_"What's been bothering you?"  No hint of judgment, yet again. It was just casual talk, the type that always calmed me down._

_"Nothing. How was your session today? What did the coach say?"_

_"Still can't do the competition but he's willing to give me till next month."_

_"What about the exams?" I questioned as my thumb drew circles over her palm. "And your father? What did he say about it?"_

_"We're not sure about the nationals. But if I do get in, I could get a scholarship in sports. Because of that, dad doesn't want to take any decision until he's back. So... for now, I'm waiting." she explained, lowering the phone and snuggling closer. "Plus, that's why I got myself a tutor."_

_"About that, do you think we should really be lying?"_

_"It's not a lie; it's half of a truth." she corrected, head pulling back just enough so I could meet those starry orbs. "And you agreed to this."_

_"Yeah but, maybe... No, nevermind. Forget about it."_

_"You know you can tell me anything, right?" I didn't like the obvious concern in her gaze, how her lower lip was rolled between her teeth. "It's been only a week but... we're together now. It's okay for you to tell me things, especially the bad ones. I can't always help you but I'll try my best... You know that."_

_"I thought the whole pre-girlfriend thing was so you wouldn't be acting like a real one."_

_"Oh, please! I'm so not acting like your girlfriend."_

_"You're using me as a pillow and I'm pretty sure we're holding hands right now."_

_"Oh no, you're not going there!"_

_I enjoyed it; the simplicity of those moments and how everything just seemed right. It was the peaceful quiescence that lingered at the horizon, the little things that didn't have to mean anything, and simply the happiness of being able to live it all. The hesitation and anxiety of those first days had slowly but surely yielded their place. All because of that easy-going smile, those reassuring words, and that gentle gaze. It had still felt quite surreal then; as if it would all just fade away at one point or another. Except, it turned out better than any dream and it certainly couldn't be real._

_She was there, though; smile as bright as the white specks that fill the universe. I could feel the soft skin of her tiny fingers wrapped around my own. Then, there was that heavy, calm pound in my chest that only her could cause. It was ridiculously overwhelming and blissful. I couldn't help but smile back._

_"_ _You're definitely friend-zoned here, buddy!"_

_"How so?"_

_"For one, you don't have a nickname and every boyfriend has to have one. That's like the golden rule of every relationship or something. Two, friends hold hands all the time and there's nothing wrong with that, mister. Plus,  you still haven't-"_

_"I haven't what?"_

_The subtle lean did not go unnoticed and neither did the sudden glint of mischief in her gaze. In books, they talk of a sudden shift in the air, of those sparks and tingles, and of the butterflies. Somehow, I felt it but also, it was so much more. And I had expected a hint of fear, some kind of panic for the first time. There was none. It just seemed-_

_"Excuse me, young man!" I blinked at the rather rough pressure on my arm, eyes not quite focusing on black-pitched eyes. A pinch on my arm did the trick though and I was surprised to found myself facing porcelain skin and caramel hair. The black, thick coat had been stripped away, only to reveal a black high-neck blouse. I didn't know what to make of the melodious voice seeking attention or of this abrupt change in circumstances. "My memory card happened to fall and slide under your seat. Would you please pick it up for me? I'll be getting off soon."_

_It was Cherry that shook me out of my reverie once again, unloading me of the burden of my backpack with lightly shivering hands. She seemed as shaken up as I felt, eyes not quite meeting mine as she played with the zipper. The realization dawned on me then and I quickly bent over to retrieve said memory card. The latter happened to be stuck to the sole of my shoe, doodled over with blue marker. The hexagonal shape mildly reminded me of something. I couldn't quite figure out how._

_I found the two making small talk when I straightened back up, Cherry's fingers still busy with the zipper while the lady sat close to my seat. They both smiled at me, either oddly bearing a resemblance to a deer caught in headlights before the memory card was snatched out of my hands. I did find the woman's haste suspicious then, a palm discreetly squeezing Cherry's shoulder in thanks before leaving the bus. But I soon locked away those thoughts, finding them unfounded and irrational. After all, if Cherry looked so embarrassed, it had to be for the very explanation that had me staring outside for the rest of the ride. Lack of fear, my foot!_


	7. Cobweb

_One final tug at the rope and everyone dropped to the floor, face falling apart into relieved smiles. Dipped into those droopy eyes, however, was a prideful glimmer; one that could rival the warm rays that filtered past the thick glass. Finally, we'd done it!_

_I was somehow the only one who had collapsed near the bed, back pressed against the creased sheets that hung off the edge. The idea of having to clean up now was troubling and I desperately tried to push it to the back of my mind. The laugh that rushed past Paul's cracked lips then was breathy and broken, melting into the dusk in specks of white like a liberating spell. Those long limbs of his were stretched wide, just like a starfish, while his chest heaved up and down in an odd rhythm. Dripping from the tips of his fringes were large beads of sweat; beads which could also be found glistening above his lips and down his neck. Almost five hours of unbearable heat and strained muscles; indeed, we'd worn ourselves out to the bone. Yet, the three of us shared this unspoken excitement; all undeniably thrilled by the end result. Finally, Paul's dream of sleeping in a hammock would come true!_

_"You better... not tell me... it's not working-." panted Josh from beneath the desk, hair tugged all the way back to expose his bulbous forehead. He'd rid himself of his spectacles, an arm tiredly thrown over his eyes. A tinge of pink flushed his skin, only growing bolder at his cheeks. Gone were the extra layers that often sheathed his body, replaced by a blue singlet that had turned darker beneath his arms. And gone too was the awkwardness that had greeted us upon first arriving. For that, I was grateful because I really didn't want us to fight._

_"What if... I want to put it... over there?" Paul teased, forefinger pointing randomly at the library shelves. Josh wasn't looking at all though, offering instead a flick of his middle finger before turning towards the door, away from us and the light. He'd probably be out in a minute, which wasn't much of an unusual sight, to be honest. That's mostly all he ever did when we would stay over anyway. But it prompted another round of laughter from Paul, which successfully muffled his staggering steps towards the hammock._

_"You better be careful with those hooks," I warned as he drew closer. But before I could even finish my sentence, he was falling into the hammock, the fabric snapping loudly beneath his chest. "We don't know if they'll- Idiot! You could have fallen!"_

_"But I didn't!" he grinned sheepishly, peering beneath the straps to throw me a wink. Annoyed, I didn't honor him with a response and directed my attention towards the back pocket of my trousers instead. I ignored my friend trapping himself into his new bed and pulled out my vibrating phone. The moment I saw the name, all traces of happiness was wiped off my face. If anyone noticed, they said nothing._

_My hands were quivering as I swiped a thumb across the lit screen, awfully aware of the heads that had turned my way after the fifth call. I couldn't bring myself to say hello and neither did he bother to._

_"I heard you've been looking for me, Lucas Jacobs."_

_***_

_It never really occurred to me that, one day, I would end up interested in photography. At least, the missing click of a camera at important events used to suggest so. The past had never been worth remembering, as far as I could remember, and thus I'd grown up with it sealed at the back of my mind. Every next step into Gary's alcove studio was hence like a revelation. Even Paul's beige coated walls were nothing in comparison to the slate grey bricks that made up the corridor. The entrance was bathed in neon blue lights and I just knew this was not going to be a simple home visit._

_"Kind of my first time inviting a nerd in," admitted Gary, voice deceptively loud in the deafening silence. And I followed after him, steps hesitant and eyes wide with amazement. The mature tone of the decor made it less of a house than a gallery, photo frames of varying sizes adorning the walls. The smiling faces staring back at me were that of complete strangers, except of course for a pair of steely eyes. And beyond the amazement, I realized that it kind of made sense why Gary had always been confident about his looks. Yet another thing I could not relate to... "My dad is a fashion photographer in Berlin if you were wondering."_

_"Cool," I replied, unsure of what else to say when he pointed to the side. A gap in the wall gave onto_ _the dining space, where he dropped his backpack and advised me to take a seat. The leather case of the chair felt rough beneath the tips of my fingers, a squeak echoing about the room when I tried to move one of them. Before even getting my shoulders rid of the weight of my bag, he was gone and all that appeared before me were rows and rows of photo frames. As compared to the ones at the entrance, however, these were all of one landscape or another. The one distinct thing about them though was the lack of colors in them. It was oddly enthralling._

_A touch of copper to the furniture further emphasized the peculiar atmosphere. It paired well with the recessed lighting, silverish beams pouring from the ceiling without overwhelming the room. I wondered if there was some kind of controller to the switch or if Gary's family preferred such low visibility. It wouldn't be practical unless one was used to it. I wasn't._ _There's also this vague memory of blooming orchids scattered across the room, delicate white petals dotted with specks of blue. I would have preferred natural ones, though the addition was refreshing._

_The sky changed from vibrant orange to bold red sometime between me trying to decipher one of the photographs and Gary's return. Like this, I was introduced to white balance, ISO, exposure... A bunch of words that made little sense in those first couple days. It kind of reminded me of computer studies as a junior; my nightmare subject as a child bookworm. Thankfully, I'd met the type of friends patient enough to help me adjust. All those zeros and ones, arrows pointing into every direction, it gave me months of headache. Same went for figuring the camera and all those settings that went along with using it. Adjusting the lighting, fixing the angle, making sure the subject is not out of focus..._

_But along the way, I discovered how more fun it was to stare at the photos than taking them. So when Gary tripped me after school, one afternoon in March, I was not that surprised by his suggestion. It was innocent after all, borderline insane but understandable to some extent. It made me eager as well, to see the true grin on his face. By then, I had learned to differentiate it with the one he'd reserve for school. So, despite that occasional grimace from Josh, things didn't seem as bad. In fact, the growing numbers beneath each post were what made the addition Sebastian feel natural. We were doing great, after all, and could afford to be a little daring. Except, things did not turn out as simple..._

_***_

_I could literally see the two fingers sneaking above the crown of my head, wiggling tentatively just as my thumb pressed onto the shutter. The screen froze for a moment, silently flashing white while I narrowed my eyes into slits. Those honeycomb drops smiled at me over the woolen sleeves, deceptively innocent though I knew better. Tapping my way back to the gallery, I pulled away from my raised knees._

_"We might as well stop here if you keep doing this," I warned, pointing at the fake bunny ears she'd given me in the shot. It was clearly amusing to her but definitely not what we had agreed upon. I had been certain I could do it; make it as subtle as possible, hinting at the unspeakable while staying above it all discreet. However, Cherry was in a brighter mood than on most days and all of these had clearly been erased from her dictionary. "I'm deleting it."_

_"No!" she was quick to intervene, voice piercing through the loud splatter of the rain outside. A flash in her eyes and a growl in the sky. I looked down to my elbow, surprised by the tight grip of her fists. And while the back of the classroom provided as much of a shield as we could probably get, my heart was far from prepared. The shock should have been reciprocal but, unexpectedly, she did not lean away. Instead, her fingers grew more tensed beneath my gaze. I was not quite certain what to make of it._

_It had been awkward at first. No, not awkward! Just... a little uncomfortable. But not because of her! Rather, it was... the circumstances._

_Trying to look presentable hadn't been enough, not when I'd dashed past the door ten seconds late and was panting too hard to apologize properly. It had not been enough when I became aware of the lump in my throat and of how my legs were wobbling like jelly. All the thinking I'd done, enough to only get four hours of sleep, proved to have been absolutely and utterly useless. Because the moment I saw her, steamy cup pressed against a dumbfounded smile, words had lost all meaning. Thankfully, the embarrassment hadn't lasted long and I had joined her on the floor._

_From then on, it was only a matter of time before the stuttering and timidity ceased to be. Thanks to her bluntness and boldness, I quickly relaxed and even got to laugh along. As free-spirited as always, Cherry shone bright enough to force the tiredness away. And so, our official dating began with me crying of laughter, even to the point of having aching ribs. But it was nice, it was fun. I knew there was no other way for it to be._

_There was more than one reason as to why we chose to hide the relationship. Top of the list was our inexperience, given how neither of us had been in one before. And while the mutual liking was there, Cherry expressed her wish to be more stable first before having to deal with endless commentary and judgment. Next came the obvious backlash that would come out of it, seeing how almost every guy had asked her out by then. That one was more or less related to the first, though. Speaking of which, there was also the time-ticking bomb called Will, who was both my nemesis and her current male best-friend. We weren't to worry about though, at least not until we knew we had an actual chance. Thus came the last reason; her promise to her brother. Now, I was not given much information at the time but, apparently, it had to do with her sibling not being a fan of high school teenagers. Especially boys... I didn't try to know more._

_So we were dating-but-not-really-for-now and to commemorate that special first day, she asked for a couple photo. At first, it was supposed to be something sweet and discreet- so as to not arise suspicions- but, as you know, that's not how it all went down, eventually._

_"It's cute," she mumbled lowly, warm puffs of air wafting against the side of my face. I was afraid to look up, certain that we weren't supposed to be as near, though not really wanting to pull away. "I want to keep it."_

_When did the phone move out of my grasp and when did I get it back with a bunch of typed numbers, I wouldn't be able to tell. Later that day though, head leaning into my raised palm, I couldn't deny that I had found my favorite keepsake and the one person worth sharing it with. From then on, all my efforts would be directed towards saving it._


	8. Hint

_The scattered mess of withered petals pretty much summarised the chaos that now reigned in the life of the both of us. Small valleys of brown were drawn across what used to be delicately cut out circles of white. Over the rough surface of the desk though, they looked far from decent. Much like the strokes of red across my arms, still throbbing with a dull pain. Worse was, however, the stabs at my heart every time a quiet sob slipped from the other side of the room. And in the darkness, a small silhouette curled around itself. Hesitantly, I reached a hand forward but all it caught was air..._

_The sound of rushing water was momentarily interrupted by a mild squeak, enough to urge my head away from the water already scooped in my hands. I blinked through the glassy beads stuck to my eyelashes, surprised by the sight of shoes sticking from beneath the concrete sink. The toes were curled inwards, heels shaking unsteadily as more of pale, plump calves disappeared underneath. The pink stars embroidered at the edge of the socks immediately directed my guess to a girl. Which proved to be correct when a series of soft grunts followed yet another squeak. Cautious, I turned off the tap and took a few steps backward. Not that it helped much with the sight; whoever was squirming like a worm down there was more or less concealed by their unruly hair._

_"Excuse me? What are you doing?"_

_A pause. An aggravated silence. Hues of swirling gold in a muddy gaze blinked back at me, mirroring the same curiosity I knew was marred across my face. Though, it soon shifted to a ruddy brown, which was in turn joined by a small dab of pink across flabby cheeks. At least, it appeared on the rare inch of skin that was not covered in black stains. I quirked an eyebrow at that, slightly amused but mostly confused._

_"Nothing," she quickly replied, tone low as she ducked into the crook of her arm. Ironically though, I could see her other hand tugging forcibly at something on the ground._

_"Is your card stuck in the drain?" I asked nonetheless, crawling closer for a better look. Though, I didn't make it far as her sudden flinch had my steps falter. It was a weird display of vulnerability, one I was definitely not used to from strangers. Even more so, after that particular memory which was still fresh at the back of my mind. So different from that day... "I c-can help. I once d-dropped my flashcards in it too."_

_A light shake of the head and small, rosy fingers working more urgently, my offer only seemed to embarrass her even further. But all the will in the world would not let her precious card free from those sharp bars. Or rather, it wouldn't return intact if she continued on. The need to repay my gratitude and the genuine sense of care held me back from walking away. Instead, I crawled right beneath the outdoor sink too, just in time for a light crack._

_"Using all your strength will only make it worse," I informed, fingers rushing over hers to hold onto the thin sheet. I was relieved to note that we were dealing with plastic, which was obviously far more resistant than cardboard. Even if it were to rip, the damage would be considerably less than what I had gone through with my own cards. "There's a little wire sticking from this corner and that's what could rip it in half if you're not careful. First, you should curve it in the middle like that and-  There you go! Barely any scratch!"_

_I smiled at the rectangular sheet, only catching a short glimpse of a burnt umber haired man holding a bouquet of white flower. Though, it was gone as soon as it'd appear and got quickly shoved into the front pocket of her shirt. The incident was quickly forgotten, however, with a shy_ 'thank you' _._

_Close. A little too close, I realized as her piercing gaze met my own shocked one. And before the next waft of warm breath could hit my face, I had pushed myself out and scrambled to my feet with unprecedented urgency. The quick acquiescence of her thanks was probably lost to the sounds of my shuffling steps. Somehow, I made my way to class, flustered and early by twenty minutes..._

_The few incidents that followed were not as striking; three seconds of an unfamiliar tune suddenly blasting in class, the mention of a name suddenly stuttered in class, tiny hands pressed hard against quivering lips, an unexplained squeal preceding the darkening of her phone's screen... Little moments that didn't really stick to the mind. Or, at least, not until Sebastian approached me after one particular Maths's class._

_"Are you sure she's not hiding something?" he'd whispered as we walked, eyes skimming across the few students who still lingered in class. The sun had already trekked over half of its path, pouring a handful of rays across our desks. The peaceful morning of that Monday had promised nothing less for the remaining hours, hence my surprise at his words. "Cherry doesn't talk much about herself, does she?"_

_"What do you mean? She's pretty open about herself." I frowned, confused. It was pretty evident to everyone that Cherry was on the extroverted side of the spectrum, never shying away from a conversation. She could even be tagged as a chatterbox, never really knowing when to stop. It was this boastful side of hers, that confidence, that had immediately set her apart from the rest of us. How could he not know that?_

_"Yeah, she's an extrovert but what do we really know about her?" he scoffed, rolling his eyes at my cluelessness._

_"She's Australian; eighteen; middle-child; lives with her father; likes swimming and running; is addicted to hoodies; can't spell_ zucchini _; and, tells pretty bad jokes about bees," I replied, frowning. I really couldn't understand what he was trying to insinuate._

_"Sure, stalker!" he scoffed again, this time reaching for the front pocket of his bag. He pulled out a diary, flipping across pages of what I easily recognized as the photos he'd contributed to our little fan club. But as talented as he was, I really wished he'd waited for everyone to leave before pulling it out. "Seriously, she never talks about her little sister. What radio station does her dad work for now and what does he do there? Where did she exactly live in Australia? How did she get admission when she can't even speak French. What are her hobbies? Her celebrity crush?... You'd think she'd at least tell one of her friends but everyone I asked was clueless."_

_He pushed the diary into my hands, index quickly circling over a few names as he explained his point. True to his word, it seemed like he'd been questioning a few people on the matter without much of a success. Yet, at the time, I couldn't really fathom the idea Sebastian brought forward. It seemed ridiculous and I didn't hesitate to let him know._

_It took me almost a year later to finally approach him again, skeptical but not as much. His eyes seemed darker, thick creases at the edge of them as if he hadn't slept in ages. But his diary was thicker with photographs and questions, urging the doubt to set in. I couldn't find the papers Josh had printed after all and Sebastian claimed he wasn't even aware I had them. Even more troubling though was the numerous unanswered questions I'd been left with..._

_Almost two months into our relationship and things were going way better than we had imagined. The first semester exams had passed us by in the blink of an eye and it was with a victorious grin plastered on her face that Cherry met me out of the examination hall. Gone were the creases that adorned everyone's face only a couple of hours prior. Instead, hues of relief and uncertainty shimmered instead in dark-rimmed eyes. I was merely content with the eager tone of her voice as I basked in the warmth of her arms. "I finished the paper on time!"_

_"Good!" I chuckled, arm circling the width of her back just enough for a congratulatory pat. Just as quickly as they had come, those slender arms regained the side of their owner and I carefully handed her the mildly cooled coffee sleeve I'd been holding onto. "Does this mean the questions were easy?"_

_" Thanks! Number nine was a bit tricky bu_ _t I think it went well. I got stuck on question eleven, though. The velocity one? I wasn't quite sure what to do after finding the area of the hexagon."_

_"Okay. We'll work more on that chapter."_

_"Okay," she acquiesced, with a light hop before suddenly whirling around. "Lucas! Do you know how to call a bear without ears?"_

_"Uh, no... I don't."_

_"B's..." she squealed, "Like, you know, you remove the 'ears' at the end and it sounds like 'bees'."_

_I settled with a light shake of the head, leading the way out of the school compound. I wouldn't say it but, it was a good one._

***

_The busy streets of the main road found us huddling after a group of our classmates, joining in on the heated discussion of answers and holiday plans. We followed them towards the bus station, steps lingering at a few shops. But mostly, I kept a cautious distance between me and Cherry, feeling a little bit left out as they all conversed animatedly. The greetings had been brief, with the conversation flowing so naturally out of my reach that I kept to myself for the rest of the way. It was a short walk anyway, I reasoned with a quiet sigh. If only I had known..._

_Halting yet another futile skim through my phone's applications, I took in the carefully folded hoodie that now hung over her arm. It was a jinx, she said, to wear it during the exams but I also knew it as one of her favorite sweaters. In the other hand, she still held onto her coffee, which I assumed had probably gone cold while she talked. It wouldn't be the first time anyway. However, it was the first time she'd ever requested my attention with such a nervous tone._

_"So," she began, gaze not really meeting mine. Intuitively, my lips thinned into a straight line, the trepidation already making my stomach churn. "They planned on going to the movies today and wanted to know whether I'd join."_

_"And?"_

_"And I thought... maybe we could go with them," she answered, eyes shifting from side to side as if that would prevent anyone from hearing. "It could be a secret date, without anyone knowing, and they're playing_ Black Panther. _"_

_Now, there was not a kaleidoscope of ways I could handle this. First and foremost, I could point out that the whole idea behind a secret was to limit the number of people aware of the situation. Furthermore, I could straight out refuse and remind her that we'd already settled for lunch in the Capital. Besides, I could also be the sacrificial lamb and bail out on the plan, giving her my blessings for the rest of the day. But that would make her feel as bad as the first one. Which brought us to option number four..._

_"How bad do you want to go?"_

_"Bad enough to pay for both of our tickets and lunch," she replied without skipping a beat, doing her damn best to make use of those puppy eyes. I caved in with a meek '_ fine' _, reaching forward and bringing the uncapped cup to my lips. I figured it was all worth the squeal of joy that followed, even as the disgusting liquid trailed down my throat while small palms clutched at my arm excitedly. "Thank you, Lucas!"_

_I hummed as we crossed the distance between us and them, Cherry still glued to my arm as if anchoring me to the spot. Maybe she thought I'd vanish if she were to leave my side, which was not as unlikely with the way I was being outfaced. Hopefully, the afternoon would go smoothly._

_"Lucas said yes!" she giggled enthusiastically before anyone could place a word. It felt out of place in this tensed atmosphere, soulless eyes peering at me being bar-like lashes. The floor was suddenly rather interesting to stare at... "We're only staying for the movie, though! My tutor doesn't really like giving holidays."_

_"You're sure you wanna tag along,_ teacher _?" challenged one of the guys, a dotted face I instantly recognized as a benchwarmer of the football team. Those guys were oddly as popular as their active counterparts, often seen boasting about the sport despite never having actually scored anything. High school logic, I presumed... But whoever was scornfully smirking at me, definitely believed in their superiority. "The basketball team will meet us there, you know."_

_"I don't see how that would be-"_

_"I just re-remembered this thing... that I gotta go um do... at home... I can't go after all." I stammered, fingers already at work to free myself from Cherry's hold. But it was not as easy when holding onto a half-filled cup, all the while having her grip tightening dangerously. For what she lacked in height, Cherry compensated with her strength and I couldn't help but struggle more._

_"What thing? You were supposed to have the whole day free for me!"_

_"I had but-"_

_No need for any more excuses; words themselves grew meaningless as I_ _watched the cup slip out of my hands. It was a futile attempt of mine to try to grab it back as all I managed to do was knock it towards Cherry. Horrified, I could all but watch as the liquid splashed against her front, hungrily slipping into the white cotton of the beloved pullover. I forgot how to breathe for a few moments._

_"Cherry, I'm so-"_

_I felt her tears rather than heard them, tiny beads that glistened over my arm as they fell. But what got me more was the expression on her face, lips quivering uncontrollably as she blinked incessantly. I'd rarely seen her cry before, let alone ever been the reason behind her tears. Which probably explained why my heart seemed to break as soon as our gaze met. All sense got lost in the moment and, with a rather hard tug, I pulled her close. My ears rang with the blood rushing to my brain while she murmured lowly into the crook of my neck, "Not on his birthday, not on his birthday, not on his birthday..."_

_It was the first major hint we'd been looking for._


	9. A/N

_Hi..._ _I have an announcement to make._

_I know people usually skip the author's notes and I'm guilty of doing it too but this is kind of important. So, please do continue reading for me. Thank you._

_THE EVE series started in December 2017 and I know I'm not doing a good job as its writer. This universe is far from fully crafted, we're still stuck on the second book and I'm probably the only one laughing at the hidden details within the plot. Starting over with WHAT IS LOVE was supposed to boost things up but we all know what really happened... I won't try to defend myself because I know I've been nothing but terrible at this whole thing. No wonder many stopped reading along the way. I really can't blame them._

_On March 22nd of this year, I created a poll on AsianFanFic to include in this A/N but forgot people could already vote without it being linked to any chapter. So, I also learned that my writing displeases some of you. I'll admit that it was a hard blow to take, especially since that's the first reader's reaction I've had in quite a while. So, motivation-wise, I've touched rock-bottom and I'm kind of convinced you all actually hate me... I guess I should have been better prepared._ _Not blaming you or anything though; it's just the way things turned out to be. And to be honest, after having processed the information, I do appreciate the honesty._

_Now, to tell you everything, one of my New Year's resolutions was to participate in an EXO writing fest. I've been reading stories from a few and I was envious (kind of) after seeing all the positive feedback these talented writers received. A few of my own comments got replies and I could feel the genuine happiness behind them. I wanted to experience that and the opportunity came to me just recently. On Sunday, March 24th, I got confirmation that my claim was accepted... I wanted to try new things, see if I can overcome the writer's block and improve. I want to know whether I am worthy of good responses too... The_ Penguin Berry Fest _will start posting its submissions as from July 15th. I was hoping for your support until then and that was the initial goal of this A/N, but that might be a little too much to ask now._

_I am going to participate in the Fest. It's too late to back out anyway. But I'll work even harder and try my very best to keep updating WHAT IS LOVE as much as possible. I won't make empty promises; it will be hard with University, upcoming exams, and my persistent writer's block. For now, I've thought of using this universe as the basis of the other one but I haven't even gotten through brainstorming stage. I'll also be anonymous until the reveals so that's all I'm going to say._

_It would really really really make me happy if you could tell me what's wrong with what I write below. As I've said, I want to improve but there's only so much I can do without knowing the source of the problem. I really want this Fest to be a success. So please, don't hesitate to point out the things I should fix while narrating. Words of encouragement would be appreciated too, though... just saying._

_The upcoming chapter is going through editing, by the way._

_This sums up all I had to say, I believe. Thank you for taking the time to read and sorry for not being good enough all this time._

_EXOL_Writer_


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